What a week...

All I can really say is I am SO hormonal! UGH. It is the week before my period and I am DEFINETLY suffering from pms symptoms. I am extremely lethargic, bloated, irritable as all get our, and so tired! I have struggled with going to bootcamp this week. Partially because of my foot that I hurt and just pure exhaustion. I am not looking forward to the weigh in tomorrow as my body just feels SO bloated. I also messed up this week and I am so embarassed. I had some of my husband's fries and I could feel that emotional eating come back. A few meals later I was still battling the urge to eat out of boredom. I have finally moved past that and I am feeling better. I am disappointed but I am not going to let it wreck everything I have worked for. I had my first BC with Bethany this week and I cannot tell you how hard it was! She is intense!!! Also, yesterday at BC Mary had us run our mile and I ran it is 9:32!!! I was so excited. I wanted to make it in under 10 and that helped me get my confidence back. I am planning on bootcamp tonight and then we have the 5k tomorrow morning. It is supposed to be around 106 so I am a little nervous about that. We will see how it goes. I will update you on my weightloss tomorrow.

I did it...

I am SUPER excited to blog today because I lost 4lbs! It was over 2 weeks but with the slowww progress I am having I prayed, I worked, I ate, 4lbs. I kept telling myself that my goal was 4lbs and well I did it!!! I cannot believe it...I am so excited. It has gotten a lot easier to make these choices as the 5 weeks have gone on. Last night we went to outback and I was pretty proud because I was not even interested in the bread. My husband on the otherhand not only ate the loaf he was given but she brought him more. Lucky metabolism. I am just to excited to see that I got what I prayed for too! Exactly. What a good day...

How sweet it is...

Week 5 is in full force! Wahoo. I am moving forward and still really confident in the changes I am seeing in my body. I have treated myself 1 time and that was on Sunday. At the dangerfields they had ice cream, chips, potato salad, etc. You name it and it was there. I did well sticking to the cherries and veggie tray but I did reward myself with a bite of my husbands smore. I did not feel guilty because well I did not eat more than that. It allows me to feel that I can be trusted in situations like that. I still have a long way to go but I am getting closer to my goal day by day. We will have a weigh in this Saturday which I am anxious about it. My goal is 4lbs but I know that may be stretching it for me considering 1lb losses are my friend. If I lost 4 that would make my weight loss be around 8lbs in 5 weeks. Not too shabby. However, if I lose 2 that is ok to...I will just be a turtle in my weight loss. Yesterday I printed 6 copies of my vision board and posted them everywhere I would look in my house. I also printed out a portion size guideline. I think I may have been eating bigger portion sizes than I should. I am meeting my sweet friend Rose todayand we usually always get Mexican food. I asked her where she wanted to go...and of course... it is Mexican. I am pretty confident though that I will be fine. I just want to stay away from the chips and cheese dip. Yum! I am excited to see her though since she leaves Thursday and will be in Europe all summer. So lucky! She is pictured below:

I cannot believe that was almost 2 years ago! Man I was a lot heavier then. I love her though and I do wish her safe travels and a romantic relationship with a hot european. Fingers crossed. Well off to lunch I go!

Vision Board...

I did it. I completed my homework for this week. Above is my vision board for the next 8 weeks. I really had to take time and think about what is a goal and what can be measured. After much thought this week I put this together. I want to grow physically, mentally, emotionally, and definetly spiritually these next 8 weeks. I feel like physically I cannot accomplish my goals if I am spiritually am out of wack. I am pretty excited about this. I need to start back up working on 5k running. I have not ran a 5k since April and I did stop then. I would love to have my next 5k be finished 100% by running and not resting. I also have warded off all cupcakes. I am trying to eat better and I have seen that cupcakes are the next "big thing" in the sweets department. I am warding those off! I also have a few bench marks I would like to meet. I would like to be able to do 40 pushups in a minute and hold the plank for 2 mins. I think I can do this... wait... I know I can do this! Tim and I are going to dinner and coffee tonight and I am really looking forwad to getting alone with him and have a date. He is such a wonderful man and I am so grateful that he pursued me and married me! :) I got a little off track with that...but he is pretty amazing! I also found a picture from before I started working out and eating right...see below!

I cannot believe that was me! It is really hard to look at that picture because I honestly did not know I was that big. It was a shock to me when I saw these pictures because I never saw myself that way. What a wake up call. I cannot believe I started this journey 3 years ago and have lost 30lbs to date. Last year I stayed the same weight and now I am really trying to lose the last 30lbs. My goal for these 12 weeks is 16 so we shall see how it goes. :)

This was me this past weekend...not the best angle and I was playing a shower game, but I look so much better than I did before and I am excited.

What a great journey so far! Progress may be slow but slow is still progress.

Here  are some more pictures:

As you can see the before pictures are from the same party... I obviously did not wany my pictures taken then!

Oh my weightloss...

Holy Cow! I have some fantastic news. I am so glad I purchased the wonderful chevron dress from The Purple Peacock Boutique! As shown above. I ordered it concerned that I would not fit in it and have to wait until I could wear it. I got the guts to try it on today and to my surprise it did not fit! It was too big! WAHOO! I knew it would be about a size small and boy was I wrong. I cannot believe it has not even been a month and the weight loss has been slow but I am seeing phenomenal results. It gave me extreme confidence and assurance that this is the right lifestyle change. This is not a diet but a complete overhaul of my previous food addiction and emotional eating. I have shown myself that I can do this and it can be easy. People are always looking for a quick fix and I was once there, but anything worth doing is worth doing well and worth fighting for, for the long haul. You cannot get skinny overnight just like you didn't get fat overnight. It takes time and energy. It takes getting your mind right and your heart right. I have always placed food as a high priority and not for fuel but for comfort. What a mistake. What can food do for you other than grant you fuel? It cannot comfort you when you are sad or stressed. It cannot stop one from being bored. Food is not ment to be up on a pedastool and should never be the place to turn in hard and happy times. I am learning that. I need to do other things and remember what eating clean has done for my body. I am no longer fighting headaches, stomach pain and bloating everyday. I am clean. My mental and emotional health have also benefited. How wonderful is that? I am able to associate my eating with pride and not shame and I never want to go back. Is a cupcake really worth it? I don't think so! I mean I have passed on cupcakes 4 times since I started the process. What a huge step forward. I am so happy to see where this takes me and this is just the beginning. :)

Holy Moly...

I was just thinking today...holy moly we are almost 1/3 of the way through the program. I am calling it a program not a contest now since my main focus is me and not on my "competition." I am still sticking to the diet hard and I am really excited to see where the scale will go. Today was a huge rush for me since, I had a meeting with a church about their insurance, and I was worried about getting adequate food and snacks prepared. I feel pretty confident I made it. I have made a habit of having scrambled eggs with veggies and a fruit every day for breakfast. I incorporated flax seeds again even though it really hurt my stomach before. I am trying to figure out if it even was the flax seeds that caused me so much trouble. So far so good. Bootcamp last night was INSANE...probably one of the hardest workouts yet. Jess really made sure to kick our butts over and over and over again. I am just glad I made it through. I have a little tension in my left shoulder today but that is to be expected with all we did yesterday. I am wondering what to do for lunch today. I will not be able to go home like usual and considering the crazy rush I was in this morning I feel unprepared. I HAVE to run by the bank on my lunch break because my atm card is missing so I know I wont have time to prepare lunch. I am looking around and thinking of doing barberitos for their guacamole salad of panera for their greek salad. YUM. I have taken out meat for lunches this week since it really bothers my stomach and the choices around me seem pretty limited, but oh well, I will get it figured out. I also have decided to go "black" with my coffee. I know the saying "once you go black you wont go back," but um... that will be a negative with coffee. I still cannot get used to the taste. I drink it though since I have IBS and it helps with my stomach. Boo! Lynn in our group is having everyone over next Monday and I am excited. It will be a great time to get together and enjoy a meal and fellowship. I have gotten to know a few girls but it will be nice to get to know more. :)

I posted this picture on the Biggest Loser page because it was great motivation for me. Since the program is 12 weeks I felt it was more than appropriate to keep going. I am going to add this to my "vision board" that is our homework this week. It has been pretty eye opening thinking of what I want on my vision board. I don't have many goals with the program and I feel that needs to change. My only goal really is to lose 16 lbs and get my eating under control. I feel the process of switching foods has been so wonderful for my body that seems like a prize enough. I am still pushing through though. This will be week 3 of my "no wheat" and I am almost finished with "Wheat Belly." I am pretty certain that is not going in my body again. I guess it helps now that I am getting tested for celiac disease. I read the chapter on that and I was like "have that, that, that and that." What a change taking 1 thing out of your diet can make! I am excited to the world of food I am now exposed to. I noticed my allergies have also been better! wahooo! Go me!

So hungry

So this weekend has been CRAZY! Yesterday was the shower and it is now over. My house still has chairs all over, decorations falling down, and I am sooo exhausted. I weighed yesterday and lost 0lbs. I stayed exactly the same, but I was ok with that. With being on my period a no loss but no gain is ok with me. At the shower I did pretty good. I had one cream cheese salsa dip that was my downfall. I did not go crazy but I definetly did not need it. I hated that literally I had NO time to eat at all until that shower and the only thing I could eat was raw veggies because the fruit bowl had melon in it. I wish I could have eaten it but oh well. When everyone finally left and Linsey and I settled down it was 7:30 and I was starving. Linsey and I had a wonderful time just chatting and ended up going to Takosushi, my favorite, and we had some edemame and I had a philadelphia roll and we split another. I felt so horrible by not having all the wonderful vegetables I have grown accustomed to. I felt that made my day a failure. Today was not any better. I woke up a little late and had to be at church for praise band practice by 8:15 so breakfast was on the run. When we got to sunday school class, once again, I was starving and there was NOTHING I could eat. I did end up getting 3 baby quiches and took the crust off. Still hungry. After church we went to Ruth's as a group and let's just say that will be the last time I eat there. I ended up having hamburger with onions, collards, and a side salad. I stayed away from all of the wonderful things I did want...but it turns out Tim said it was not good for him either. I came home and took a nap and made sure I got up and had something packed with veggies so I ate a leftover salad. Still hungry. I am waiting on tim to get back so I can figure out the schedule for tonight but I am kind of tired that every Sunday I am tempted (3 times) to eat crap. We have fellowship tonight and I asked Erin what she was providing and let's just say none of it I can eat. So discouraging. I have two weeks to really see a change on the scale but today was the hardest day so far. I felt like cheating so many times...ugh! I have decided to give up creamer and sugar in my coffee for this week and day 1 it is not so good. We shall see how it goes. I am off to try to make something for dinner.

Oh My Lanta...

So it is 10am and I feel like I have already put in a full days worth of work. Last night it was unbearably hot in the house so I went and checked on my AC annnnd it was broken. :(  I tried so hard to sleep but that did not happen until early morning. Then I overslept...ugh...missed bootcamp and had to eat breakfast on the run. So as I am grabbing all of my stuff to head on out I try to walk out the door...it is stuck...so I tried to unlock it...still stuck...ugh!!! What the heck kind of day is this turning out to be? Oh well. Usually I would say on a day like this, screw this, and everything I needed to complete today. That would mean, eating what I wanted, not giving 100% at work, not cooking and MOST DEFINETLY not working out. That has all changed now. Rather than going into crisis mode I have decided that I just need to take a deep breath and call the locksmith to unlock the door and I can get the HVAC guy to come. Crisis averted. WHEW! I am a little concerned still about my weigh in tomorrow. I have not eaten poorly but I am on my period so I am nervous at how it will affect me. I hope I am not discouraged again. I just need to take a few deep breaths and move forward. Today is going by increadibly slow but I guess that gives me time to get me "to do" list done so things will move right along when I get home. Thankfully I have a wonderful husband off today who is going to take care of the kitchen! whew!

Day 16...

Here we are! Day 16!! I cannot believe it has been 16 whole days of clean eating. Other than a killer stomach ache from something I ate at a buffett (nothing that seemed bad...ie chicken?) on Sunday I have done a great job! I am so proud. I did not realize the temptations I am faced with each day. Come Saturday it will be the 3rd time in 3 weeks I will be tempted with cupcakes. How many times was I tempted with cupcakes before and did not think a thing about it? That is something that makes me cringe a little inside. This lifestyle change is not really hard and I am enjoying it. This week hs probably been the roughest thus far because I started my period...eew...and I am so focused on getting the shower ready for Saturday. I went home yesterday and started the deep cleaning process that will take a few days. I grabbed hold of the living room yesterday and cleaned it from top to bottom...literally. It took me FOREVER to vaccuum the couch but I am glad that is done. I also started the dining room. I will just need to vaccuum that and the entry way today. Tomorrow I am planning on tackling the downstairs bathroom and the stairs. That will leave just the kitchen which will need some major head to toe cleaning to make sure there is no trace of the doggies. I feel a little stressed over my eating probably because I am hungry but I don't want to eat. I am not trying to starve myself or anything but when  I am on my period that is the last thing I want to worry about. I have also struggled a little with my water intake the last two days. I think I am going to need to set a timer on my phone and make sure I drink a cup each time it goes off. All in all though it still has been an amazingly wonderful process. I look forward to seeing the scale this week. I am a little anxious as I am on my period but no worries. Since it rained yesterday and class was cancelled i did the at home Rainy Day workout...and lets just be honest that sucked BIG time! Bethany sure knows how to kill your body; in a good way.  She really has been an absolute pleasure as well as Tracy. I felt really comfortable at Saturday's meeting just hearing Tracy's story and seeing the triump she has had over her past weight issues. That sure is inspiring. I also read a blog post from one of the girls in the group...Natalie. It was great to hear her experiences with the biggest loser thus far. I have enjoyed getting to know the girls and I feel that the two I have connected with the most thus far are Natalie and Ashley. They really are sweet wonderful ladies and I look forward to the rest of the journey with them. I cannot believe we are already on week 3! WOW. I keep hearing that people will start to taper off but our group still seems to be going strong. There is a lot of competition and I love competition. I find my success is just taking it day by day, meal by meal, temptation by temptation! I am in it for more than just  at the end. I am in it for THE prize, which is a more confident and happy me! Tim is also a wonderful encouragement. He gets so proud of me eating clean that he just sweeps me up and hugs me tight. It is actually a really wonderful feeling knowing he cares so much about me being healthy. I love that man! I am still concerned about Saturday...considering I have given the food over to someone else. The only great thing is that I will be at my house so I can just eat things that I have. :)


I just realized that I did not post my loss from last week! 3lbs...finally! I was so excited and so proud. In 11 days 4lbs lost...that is pretty dang sweet! ;)