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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Back in the swing of things...

I cannot believe how long ago my last blog post was. I have been struggling for over a year now with this "fitness journey." I have had so many ups and downs, mainly downs, but I am back and really mentally focused. It seems that I have been struggling so much with the mental and emotional aspect. I let thoughts like "you are not worth this" or "you cannot do this" get to me and they win. Well, not anymore, I am taking charge. I have joined another "Biggest Loser" program, this time with the intentions of not quitting and making a life style change. The biggest change will be eating. This program focuses on eating and this is what I need. It is sponsered by Bethany's Bikini Bootcamp and it is a 12 week program focused on Clean Eating. We had our first meeting on Saturday where we measured in, weighed, got our "before" pictures taken and talked about the program. We had to start reading Tosca Reno's book "The Eat Clean Diet" and I have enjoyed it. I weighed in at 165.8 and I am unsure of my measurements. I will weight in again on Saturday and I am not wanting to weigh in until then. I want to be focused with no pitfalls. I told myself... you can do this...start off this week and make it happen. I have incorporated foods in my diet that I used to hate... i.e boiled eggs and I have also incorporated new things like steal cut oats, quionoa, etc. I am on day two of the eating and I am loving it! I feel energized and in control. I am not hungry either...just focused. I also started back with Bethany's Bikini Bootcamp. It will be a 6 week program and I had my first evaluation yesterday. We were evaluated on 3 things: pushups, plank, and mile:

Pushups (in 60 seconds): 35
Plank: 41 secs
Mile: 11:10

I definetly have areas to improve but I am doing pretty good thus far. I have really enjoyed Bethany's support as well. I feel like a child when I post my food for the day and she "likes" it on facebook. That has REALLY been something good for me. I enjoy the posting because I can see where I am and I can be held accountable. POST POST POST all food. That is my goal...to not be ashamed of what I eat and be satisfied. For once. Tim is also being pretty supportive. He has always encouraged me in my weight loss and I think the emotional toll it takes on me also stresses him out. I want to feel sexy and worth it. I want to be proud of my fitness and eating routines. I will get there. I will be ready and I will be wearing a bikini on our Anniversary. So, for the next 12 weeks I will be posting anywhere and everywhere. Hopefully this will help with my food allergies. I have been itching on my elbows for over a month now (right before I got my wisdom teeth out) and I am hoping that I can get over that as well. Also, it will be a way to find better things to eat for my stomach and let others in on the not so secret "NO FAD DIETS" and just clean eating. 

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